“Cotopus cocked to the hot plat”, “Crap salad”; there are always a few menu mis-haps to get you chortling when you’re on holiday but I’d love to challenge any of you to find a better menu than this.

I’m not sure why, but the Spanish do seem to be exceptionally good at literal translations. Pete and I visited Cazorla a few years ago. I’d often driven through the mesmerizingly endless kilometres of olive groves en route for Sevilla, Córdoba, Granada and the coast but I’d never even stopped in the Andalucian province of Jaen before. Nobody had mentioned the stunning Sierras de Segura y Cazorla National Park or the beautiful towns of Úbeda, Baeza or Cazorla.  GO THERE – You’re a million miles away from the coach loads and the tour guide mayhem of the Mezquita and Alhambra (I should know that was one of my first jobs). Now this is beginning to read like a tourist brochure and so I promise to cut the waffle and just post a load of pictures to capture the feel of the place. This was, after all, meant to be a post about menus and as usual I’ve digressed BUT, just one more thing the fabulously shady little B&B-ish little hotel where we stayed is worth checking out.
So here is the starter menu. I’d really like to draw your attention to the local speciality of  9. “Migas con tropezones” (fried breadcrumbs with chunky bits of charcuterie) and the selection of “Revueltos” 16. through to 22. (of scrambled eggs with accompaniments)

It was all fine until Pete turned to the English menu for a bit of help. The entire situation was made worse by a very serious and exceedingly sincere waiter. Just take a look at the “Inlets” selection. Just how do you decide between the “You crumble with stumbles” or the appetising “In a mess (untidy of the house)” when there’s a  “cocktail of plugs” on the menu too?

And, as you can see from the next page this could all be washed down with a “pitcher bleeding” before you led your “Sucking pig to the oven of fuelwood”. I’m sure you’ve all had moments when you’re delirious with laughter, nearly wetting yourself in fact. I’m just wondering whether Google Translate will ever be able to deliver such fabulous style. So please surprise me and email me any contenders you may have this summer for the best holiday menu.

Here are some pictures of Cazorla too.